Right after we moved into our house, my husband & I were investigating all its nooks and crannies. We were examining the closet in my son's room when we met the previous tenant.
She was a large lady .. or man. Frighteningly large. Huge, I would say. And those legs .... shew.... those legs didn't stop. And her skin, black and shiny as though she had been freshly washed and waxed. We never got her name. Our screams sent her scurrying & we never saw her again.
But I will never forget her. She was aaallll legs. Had she wanted to, she could've become a frightening bracelet around my dainty wrist. Which... actually could've been pretty cool. Maybe we could've become a fantastic crime fighting duo webbing up ne'er-do-wells and what not. Giving Spider man a bit of competition - or assistance. Or, at the very least we could've made one heck of a fashion statement.
As I said she was a big lady. There was just not a jar big enough to catch her and put her outside to prey on mice and stray cats. And, she looked indestructible .... and crunchy. Like, if you tried to stomp her, she would simply lift a leg, easily place it on your shoe, give a little flick and flip you over in a most graceful Ninja spider kind of way. But, if you happened to be successful, the squishing would sound like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir munching potato chips in unison. CRRRRRUUNCH!!
Although, she was so shiny and slippery looking. Any attempt of squishing may have resulted in the would be squisher to land flat on his back vaudeville style.
Thankfully she scurried into a hole in the baseboard before we had to act. Being expert new homeowners, we promptly filled the hole with a crumpled sheet of notebook paper, then closed the closet door and never spoke of it again.
As I said she was a big lady. There was just not a jar big enough to catch her and put her outside to prey on mice and stray cats. And, she looked indestructible .... and crunchy. Like, if you tried to stomp her, she would simply lift a leg, easily place it on your shoe, give a little flick and flip you over in a most graceful Ninja spider kind of way. But, if you happened to be successful, the squishing would sound like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir munching potato chips in unison. CRRRRRUUNCH!!
Although, she was so shiny and slippery looking. Any attempt of squishing may have resulted in the would be squisher to land flat on his back vaudeville style.
Thankfully she scurried into a hole in the baseboard before we had to act. Being expert new homeowners, we promptly filled the hole with a crumpled sheet of notebook paper, then closed the closet door and never spoke of it again.
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