Why to be a tree hugger

Have you hugged a tree today?

Well.... go on. It's good for you

old man winter's last hurrah (NOT!)

So, we were again visited by the snow-meister last weekend.

It was one of those snow falls that clings to the trees and turns the world into a setting for a medieval fantasy novel. You know, when you walk through the woods and expect to see a beautiful & powerful sorceress gliding towards you ever so silently.  Her long dark hair flows ever so perfectly down her back. Her green eyes hold the glint of mystery & magic. She reaches her hand towards you and hands you a single red berry. Then holds you in her knowing gaze as she flaps her long dark cape and transforms into a falcon. As she flies towards beyond the tree tops you can't help but wonder how that cape keeps her warm. & why doesn't she wear gloves? She'll be sorry in her forties when the arthritis starts to set in. & how does her hair stay so perfect with all that transforming back and forth and what not. &..... well, maybe this is just what i think of.

Anyway, i was finally able to get those photos of snow clinging to the trees. I have missed my opportunities this winter up until this past weekend. And now... springtime may arrive.

winter beauty

7.27.11(11.18.12)

7/27/11

&

11/18/12

I feel the need to create.

To give purpose to my hands,  head,  heart .. to my soul & the ancestors of my soul whose songs, poems & stories have become drowned out by ticking clocks, car engines,  & bad sitcom banter

Whose inspiration have been buried in deep empty pockets by material expectations

& I ….. I just feel that I am too heavy.

Bonded to the earth. & not  as a  fierce, primal passionate earth mother, soil sister dancing down the bones kind of way.

More like the roly-poly girl of my past (present) trying to be rhythmic & graceful of but unable to find lightness in the sole of her feet.

There is no lightness in the sole of my soul.

I miss giving birth to an idea, story, poetry, even a doodle drawing.

Simply Putting pen to paper

Words, phrases, ideas flowing from somewhere within

Sometimes laboriously & painfully pushing out the perfect word

Or gang of words to express exactly …. Exactly  “IT”

& getting lost – mind, heart & soul completely obsessed,

Dancing cheek to cheek

Heart to heart with my muse.

I miss my muse.

I miss her  murmurs & mutterings that softly tickled my insides then grew into

 playful whispers, sweet promises gentle caresses until there was nothing but my muse to me.

& with pure  abandonment of responsibilities, fear of criticism, I surrendered.

She and I would sit curled together

sometimes on a dirty floor in a corner of the kitchen,

or in a cold break room amid  conversations about the best price for pork loin and canned pears.

Sometimes in a parking lot in my car. The windows fogging up with heat of writing without abashment, without worry of being late for something,  of being something that I’m not for someone. 

Just me & my muse – rocking to the primal drumbeat of creativity – allowing her song to erupt, to spill forth until the paper was filled and was emptied ….  satisfied.

& maybe what we brought into this plane was good – maybe not. Not all children turn out well, no matter how much effort is put into their development.

But, the dance was beautiful.

I miss my muse. 

copyright 2012 

Jennifer Mason

words of advice from Walt

“This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.” 

― Walt Whitman
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/service

Finding Reason in Delusion and Dementia

Finding Reason in Delusion and Dementia

I am in no way a medical person. I am just a slob who tries to help improve the quality of life for nursing home residents on a daily basis. And the longer I work at this, the more futile it seems. I mean, is quality of life really bingo games & entertainment? Seems that it would be more related to staying clean and dry and having your hair brushed and your teeth clean,  and having choices about what you're going to have for dinner, and having more choices about how you are going to spend your day in a recreational way - not just choosing between bingo at 10 and trivia at 2.

But I digress. The above article has no bearing on my rant. I just found it interesting. I have been working in long term care for many years. And I have seen the changes in our Alz./dementia population as the drugs have changed. & I am not sure if the changes are good or not. Oh, I am sure they are good from a medical stand point. And they make it easier to handle the resident. And some people are so tortured that medicating them is the only viable option. In all fairness, for some people drugs are wonderful things that greatly positively affect quality of life.

But you know, it seems that some of the drugs seem to put the person in a "holding pattern" so to speak. Kind of like part of the mind is blocked off. And the disease does not progress as it normally would. I guess this is a humanitarian attempt at extending quality of life. But.... you know - define quality of life. To me it's not losing everyone I  love and losing everything I've worked for and being relegated to half of a room in a cold neutral toned institution. But that's just me. If this were me I think I would want my mind to be free to wander in a great delusional state.

Back in the day, people "window shopped" in the hallways. They chatted with faceless voices. They sang songs in praise of salt and ice cream. They wheeled down the hall barking orders at everyone - giving raises or firing people. One "young" lady went out drinking with the staff every night and would  regale us with party stories. They were in their own realities and we had to reach them where they were.
It was challenging & fun. Everyday was like walking into "imagination land."

I am not saying that everyone was happy and pleasant all the time. No. There were quite a few times when I was slapped or my hair was pulled or I was cursed at. But for the most part, my job was  enjoyable and challenging filled with conversational jigsaw puzzles. Learning how to ask the right questions, give the proper answers that offered my people solace and peace of mind and (hopefully) helped them feel more content with their surroundings.

Of course, many things were different back then. There were more people on staff, more time to work effectively and to do extra things. There was more of an emphasis placed on creating a home like environment. Now most facilities are really only interested in the slap dash quick cash of rehab.
Often the long termers get lost in the dust. Sad.

How to be alone

Love this little video. It is perfectly o.k. to be with yourself and be comfortable being with yourself.