Some people say that idealism is for the youth.

Could be.

The world  gets smaller with age.
The path repetitive; the spirit caged.
Instead of meandering, wandering, discovering, we pace.
creating a rutted path from home to work from work to home and so on - with maybe a deviation here and there. But usually, we shop at the same stores, attend the same place of worship, interact with the same people, travel the same routes.
_____

They say that:

http://data.whicdn.com/images/66857651/original.jpg

I say, people don't stop playing because they lose interest in play. 

They stop playing because finding time to play becomes a struggle. At some point something has to give. 

In my life, that which I love has been replaced w/that which I have to do. 

Maybe one day trails will once again be hiked, bad poetry written, the soil of my garden tenderly turned & new growth encouraged. 

But for now, my route is rutted.  My world small, repetitive,tedious, frustrating & blessed.
 - remember the boy from Aleppo.

____

So, maybe, 

Maybe this is how it happens. 

Maybe this is how a person goes from being an idealistic nomad of sorts 

a wanderer & a wonderer 

to being a robot. 

http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s480x480/e35/c0.2.755.755/13328969_244833055901517_166211051_n.jpg?ig_cache_key=MTI3MDEwNTg0MDgzNTAxNDk0Nw%3D%3D.2.c

Shut up kid!

Yes, it had been a trying day, an experience in frustration, a day from devised by  demons.

Then, I dropped my snacks. Then I took a picture of said snacks & posted it on Instagram with the caption, "Et tu, snacks?" as though it was my snacks fault that they were dropped.  As though my walnuts, wasabi peas, and raisins decided to revolt and started shaking and jumping about like Mexican jumping beans on Flakka until they flung themselves from my hands.   My stressful clumsiness was not to be blamed. It was the snacks! They deserved to be  humiliated on social media. I earned that moment of American exceptionalism. I was having a bad day. (Insert eye roll emoji here) Aaaaand action!

Et Tu. snacks? #deepsigh #badday #shouldvegonetocollege

A photo posted by jennandbellajean (@jennandbellajean) on Aug 15, 2016 at 5:02pm PDT

To be honest, this summer, nay this past year, has felt a bit like Chinese water torture or Spanish water torture as it's sometimes referred to in Europe (no offense to Chinese people or Spaniards.  If anyone has a more politically correct name for the act of restraining a person then dripping water on the same spot on her forehead until she goes insane, please let me know). While everything major has stayed pretty status quo, there has been a constant pick, pick, picking quality of existence that is about to send me screaming into the wild. It's as though the universe is a bratty child poking me in my arm repeatedly saying "are you annoyed yet?"

In retaliation, I instagram my fancy snacks and play Candy Crush more than is good me. What a loser.

See, here's the thing. I know things can be way worse. I know that performers canceling at the last minute, or simply not showing up (so my day has to do a complete turn-around and tasks that would've been completed still sit wait), working 50 hours a week and being paid only for 40 and not being eligible for any comp. time or allowed to even document the actual number of hours worked ( so it looks as though 50 hours of work were completed in 40), working short for close to 2 months (again) d/t to call offs (b/c when your staff is very very tiny, that's just what happens), being viewed as a non-essential employee in the health care world and having everyone think your job is "so much fun"(especially nurses who get paid for all their hours worked. Oh, and get bonuses for shifts picked up). None of this compares to having your house blown up, your city bombed time and time again, having to choose which belongings to pack in a backpack as you flee your home.

None of this compares to this:

http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2016/08/19/490679863/the-little-boy-in-aleppo-can-one-photo-end-a-war

This photo came out sometime during the week that almost broke me.  The same day I saw this during  a moment stolen from the workday to hurriedly check in with the virtually real world. Later that afternoon I was confronted by an mob of angry grandmas protesting the rules of bingo. Yes, bingo. Not my rules - the official bingo rules(yes there are official bingo rules). 

Them: Today in bingo somebody won with a postage stamp but it was wrong.  

Me : Oh.. o.k (shrug) What? 

Them: It was in the wrong corner. 

Me: There is a right corner? 

Them: It's always the upper left hand corner. 

      (They are very upset about this, getting louder, people are starting to talk at the same time) 

Me: I was unaware that there was a specific corner.  Whatever you want to do .... 

Them: We've always played it like that. 

Me: O.k. I did not know that. 

Them: She said it's not in the bingo rules

Me: There are bingo rules??

     At this point my assistant approaches, hands me her phone with the page to the official bingo rules pulled up. A postage stamp can be in any corner, by the way. 

Me: Oh, a postage stamp can be in any corner according the official bingo rules. 

Cacophony. Verbal chaos. 

http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2016/08/19/gettyimages-591717242_custom-f98328fcdb082ecc3bee9051d117dcdfb523e988-s800-c85.jpg

We are frustratingly blessed. Or maybe it's just me

who is frustrated 

or blinded to the blessings. 

or cracked open wide by the frustration. 

"They" say that the Universe only gives you what you're strong enough to handle. 

Thank the gods I'm a weakling. 

________

This post was started in August/September & was hurriedly finished & published yesterday. 

Game show game :)

hope this works & And this too


If the above links work, they will take you to a 10,000 dollar pyramid style game that you are free to use.

Please, if you share or post anywhere, please give credit where it's due. Thanks. 

Full Moon

Just some astrological thoughts on this February full moon. 

Thanks Mystic Mama

And Elephant Journal

Remembering snow days

This is a guided imagery exercise that you can do with your clients in a nursing facility. All exercises are appropriate for seated clients.

As always, encourage your residents to work according to their best abilities. The script seems lengthier and more time consuming than it actually is. Everything depends on how much energy you as an activity leader are willing to put into the program.

Check with the doctors, therapy and nursing departments to learn about contraindications &/or necessary modifications for your group. 

You are welcomed to print and share w/anyone. The material is copyrighted; so, please give credit where it's due.

Allegedly, embedding a pdf in blogger is ooohhh so easy ....... not.

Therefore,

follow this link

Holiday observations.

 So, one thing i noticed as i bustled about this holiday season attempting to meet expectations of people i barely know  was the effect the so called "war on christmas" has had on seasonal well wishing.

There was very little, if any, well wishing at all. No cheery "Merry Christmas " or "Happy Holidays."
Just the regular "have a nice day" followed by my usual response, "yep. you too."

Words are important. Powerful. But in some cases, words are words. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, seasons greetings simply take the place of "have a nice day" for about a month. The cashier at Target, who has been on her feet for for the last 5 hours? She probably doesn't really give a hoot whether or not you have a merry xmas, happy holiday, or a nice day. She just wants to get through her day without incident. And the fact that some crazy conservative who has spent the last 5 hours listening to Fox fiction, may go off on her if she uses the wrong terminology most likely dampens her desire to say anything.

And the same goes the other way.  The underpaid full time retail worker who may likely qualify for food stamps because the company doesn't give 2 craps about her health and well being. She might also  be one of those folks who spend their free time hanging with O'Reilly, Hannity, & the like . Hence, it may be her, the tired, underpaid cashier who is hoping that she'll actually have the money to take her things out of lay away by Christmas, who is hesitant to extend seasonal well wishes because, you know, she may become a target for some imagined liberal campaign for solidarity.

So, i think i encountered one person who extended a 'merry Christmas' to which i replied, "yep. you too."

Then the holiday was over. And the light shone through. Everything in general felt ..... lighter.  Christmas was over. New Year was approaching. New Year's Day. A singular, secular holiday. No stress, no mess, no contention. The confusion was lifted.

Well wishes for the new year abounded. "Happy New Year!" exclaimed grocers, convenient store clerks, retail workers, random people on the street. Those 3 words were like a deep sigh, a safe haven.

So, what has happened because of the "war on Christmas"? Well, that time between November and the end of December has become just like any other time, just a bit more expensive and busier.

The one cool thing about the holiday season was the feeling that for a brief period of time people were united in the hustle and bustle. Whether someone wished another a merry xmas, happy holidays, we knew what they meant. Be well, stay warm, enjoy.

Nothing more or less. Now extending that same salutation could be seen as a call to arms.

Sad.

_____________

The real war on Christmas in my opinion is being led by the same captains of capitalism that so many editorialists espouse as being the cornerstone of righteousness in society.

I mean, look at this:

This nonsense was on the shelves on Christmas Eve MORNING!!! How did they even have time to stock that? 

So, annoying!!! 

Not sure whether others understand my indignation when it comes to this. Maybe i got so bent because i had yet to do my xmas shopping (the aforementioned hustle & bustle was work related). Maybe my outrage is due to the kind of  full time work that I do. Constantly propelling oneself forward from traditional holiday to  wacky holiday, & from event to event can take its toll. 

Look, the holiday season wasn't even over. What about New Year's? In fact, Christmas hadn't happened!!! And the retailers were pushing us forward. Forward Forward Forward. Always moving. 

There is nothing wrong with forward motion, or planning. I mean, the earth keeps spinning; the seasons keep moving. It's natural. 

However, we as people need to take time to rest on our laurels of celebration. To think, "wow, this has been a great holiday." And yes, we can ignore the valentine's candy until the proper time. Nobody is forcing anyone to buy it. But.... it's still there. A chocolatey seed in the brain, a gooey gust of wind pushing us forward whispering "move along. move along. there's nothing to see here."